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Star Rams Café

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Star Rams Cafe

Muker, England - In 1963 Jack and Ennis opened Star Rams Café, a shanty serving spirited tea brewed with sheep's milk and a kick. "Blessed be" was declared as ruckus sheep men downed the drink, and after a few chugs the sheep started to look pretty good. With fears of buggery, Jack and Ennis gentrified the shanty, moving it to town rather than be broke back at the mountain café.

As the café flourished, its menu expanded. Then came the celebrities, and with them fantastical concoctions. Patrick Stewart initiated the first with the Warp Core Breach, a mixture of black tea, steamed sheep's cream, and a shot of Welsh whisky. Soon came John Cleese with the Wanda, brewed cold and served with an angelfish, and Anthony Hopkins' Beaker of Hannibal Lecter, a tea served hot with a side of sheep's liver and fava beans. Angela Lansbury begot the Fleet Street, a tea best served with a meat pie, while the perennial favorite, Lady Godiva, was simply a naked cup of tea.

Tourists abounded, and in 1971 three Seattle friends, Jerry, Zev, and Gordon, chanced upon Star Rams Café. Over tea and scone they mused of Great Britain's plan to soon join the EU and the opportunities that union would bring. But what, they pondered, of their own opportunities. Then in that relaxed atmosphere came the epiphany, they resolved to open a bagel house.