TWICE BREWED DEMOCRATS DRINK TEA: After the shellacking last night of the Democratic party, President Obama and Tea Party founder Michele Bachmann announced a coalition of their parties. "We breath the same air, we drive the same highways, we suffer the same intoxicating ills," declared the President, "we share so much in common."

With a strained smile, Nancy Pelosi said little. Vice President Biden chided her, "We'll manage this like Zane Grey, meanwhile we'll learn to enjoy Earl Gray."

As Congressman Bachmann took the podium, the crowd roared. "Back in the 70s microbrews flourished under then Democrat President Carter, and energy drinks broke out last year under Obama. Now we can move forward to resolve America's ills for hard beverages."

"My base is gone," muttered Senate Majority Leader hopeful John Boehner as he sat bewildered in the Twice Brewed Pub soaking up a pint. "My plan to unseat Obama in 2012 is dead. Now those people want to repeal the repeal of the 18th amendment."

Giving comfort, Sarah Palin sidled up to Boehner. "You know I'm a closet teetotaler. So of course there will be no alcohol served on these premises and I hope the tea will only be brewed once."